We have been dealing with parenting "issues". This morning after an argument about Mario first thing in the morning, I googled "How to deal with a highly sensitive volatile 7 year old".... this is what I found out....
Basic description of a 7-year old: Age of Withdrawal
Typically, a 7-year old:
- is calmer than at age 6
- is moody, morose, melancholy
- broods and sulks
- is thoughtful and a good listener
- loves to think, observe, and reflect
- is absent-minded
- procrastinates
- is easily distracted
- is self-absorbed
- loves to argue but goes along with solutions
- often asks, "Why do I have to?" and "Why should I?"
- is less selfish and more forgiving
- is hard to satisfy
- is easily disappointed
- does not respond well to humor
- thinks others are mean, hateful, unfriendly, always picking on him, not liking him
- may tell stories of maltreatment
- may join several peers to gang up on one child or may become target of other children ganging up on him
- does not want others to laugh at him
- worries about everything, including:
- not doing well in school
- hurricanes (or any natural disaster)
- war
- that family won't have enough money
- people he loves will die
- that any pain or discomfort is a sign of a fatal illness
- has many fears, including:
- being late for school
- the dark
- has overcome some previous fears such as of the dentist or swimming
- wants control and privacy
- likes a room of his own to which he can retreat
- does not like to be touched or seen without clothes
- likes to plan his own days
- has increasing control over body, thoughts and temper
- may talk to himself in front of mirror
- Parents:
- gets along rather well with mother
- wants her support and sympathy
- believes parents like the other children in the family more than him
- admires father, especially boys may "worship" them
- Siblings:
- fights with siblings
- is best with much older and much younger siblings
- with siblings close in age, things are "just not fair enough"
- enjoys family outings
- less tattling
- Sex:
- may not notice sex differences
- are "mushy"
- some, especially boys, are more hostile towards the opposite sex
- School/learning:
- enjoys learning
- can idolize a teacher
- may have a crush on a teacher
- frequently asks for permission to do tasks
- wants to be special
- at home, can complain a lot about school
- not a good messenger for bringing papers home from school
- may give a "gift" to the teacher that actually is something that belongs to mother
- enjoys reading as skills improve
- understands time better (which may be why there is an increase in worrying about being late)
- sets high standards for self, wants perfect scores and papers, erases a lot
- perseveres once starts an activity
- Physical development:
- has more headaches, rubs eyes
- complains of pain, especially knee pains
- is more coordinated
- is more cautious
- Play:
- not as adventuresome
- can stick with one activity for a long time
- can play competitive games better because winning is not so important
- likes computer play
- likes to collect things
- loves nature
- loves to participate in sports
- Frequent use of:
- "I can't"
- "This is serious"
- "I feel embarrassed"
- a lot of self-criticism
- Ethics:
- tries to live up to standards for being "good"
- tries to tell the truth, but is quick with excuses
- believes fairness is very important
- may collect things that really don't belong to him
Suggestions for parenting your 7-year old:
- Use a gentle approach
- Show appreciation
- Provide reasonable amounts of sympathy
- Do not to take reports of unfairness too seriously
- Stay calm
So Guess what, I have a normal, moody, sulky, not fair, you are ruining my life 7 year old.
