Wednesday, May 27, 2009

empty jar and a bottle of wine..

A friend sent this to me... I thought it was funny... and worth sharing.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the empty jar and a bottle of wine.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced a bottle of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else---the small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.'

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.''Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'The wine just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of glasses of wine with a friend.'

Thursday, May 21, 2009


Max is in the every little boo boo needs a band aid phase. The other morning he did something to his lip and his thumb, there was no blood. But he wouldn't stop fussing till it was covered with the magic that is a band aid. So I pulled them out, who wants to listen to crying first thing in the morning. I band aided him up. Right over the lips...
Max is such a bright little guy. He has amazing speech for his age and impresses me daily, this was the kid that was walking at 9 months, he always seems so much older than he is to me. He has the funniest little personality that just makes me want to snuggle him up, I can't get enough of him.
he is our smiley eyed boy, when he smiles you can see it in his eyes, they turn into a crescent moon shape. It makes my heart melt every time. The other day we went to the nursery to get our veggie starts, the woman asked if both boys were mine, and than commented that one of them had my eyes, poor max, forever he will be the one who didn't get my green eyes. But his are so much better. Big, brown and smiley... who can resist that charmer.

in a funk...

Why am I in a funk?

It is driving me nuts. Today I can't seem to snap out of it. I worked all morning in the garden, didn't realize until noon that I hadn't fed the boys breakfast. It was okay though, we were all out playing in the dirt, so no one seemed to notice. I got all my plants in the ground, which is awesome, I got the unruly raspberry bush all tied up, and somewhat under control. I even transplanted strawberries to make more of an aesthetically pleasing patch, I am going to add a nice rock border around it.
The yard is starting to make me happier. But I still miss our old yard terribly. I miss my old house. I hate Vancouver, and I don't particularly like this house. I do LOVE the dishwasher. but more space in a house, means more space to have to clean up. Since we consolidated two houses into one there is way more stuff than there is a logical place for stuff. I seem to do bi-weekly visits to goodwill and still don't have my workplace set up.
I had a big order due this week for Presents of mind, I got it done, but man oh man, you should have seen the house, for 3 days straight it looked like a bomb went off in the play room and dining room. At the old house I had the whole basement as my work space. I miss it.

My rep wants me to add another rep out of the Dallas area... hmm. I don't know if I am ready for that... it sucks that you have to spend money to make money... oh did I mention we don't really have the money to spend and make back.... story of my life, stealing from peter to pay paul, at least the power is still on, maybe they won't notice I didn't pay them last month... oops.

July is also buggin me to add a dress to the spring 2010 line. I am meeting with a seamstress on Monday. I am kind of excited, but stressed about it.

A shop in Multnomah village just picked up my women's stuff, she wants dresses with sleeves, an older clientele, Great, let's add it to the list... I think maybe I am spreading myself too thin.... Oh and did I mention my mom had surgery on her leg, guess what I have been, nurse maid katie to my mom for two and a half weeks, plus trying to get orders out, and trying to keep two little men entertained and happy...
Maybe that is why I want to pull my hair out.

Okay my poor me session is done.. I feel a little better.

The boys found their Halloween costumes in the garage. It is now the favorite outfits of the day. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a monkey and chicken running around the garden...

Monday, May 11, 2009

Maybe not the best idea...

Another blog I read often, recently has been posting about this book. I was super stoked to get it for Mothers day and plan out a hike for the day.
Sometimes I need to be reminded that I have a 2 and 4 year old who have little legs. B questioned my choice when I showed him the hike I wanted to do, I confidently said... "oh the boys will do fine, they do the eastbank walk and that is 3 miles no problem." B kept a smile on his face the whole hike, even up hill with a 30 lb kid on his shoulders...never once an "I told you so", but I could see the twinkle in his eyes.... When we finally made it back to the car I slowly uttered the words... "you were right".... oh that hurt.
All in all it was a fun day hike, took us almost 4 hours though, it should have taken 2. It was beautiful and a great idea for the first half of the hike, second half was still good, just done carrying out two tired little men on our backs uphill.
I got the book on Saturday and talked up hiking all day to the boys, they were so excited when we got there. Thought they were going to find some bears, of course we didn't, but at times it was a motivation to get them around the next bend.... "oh I think I saw a bear, run fast max and try to catch it."
We will be in trouble if we ever do run into a bear, Max will think it wants to be his best friend, or he will try to shoot it with a stick. We did spend about 15 minutes of the hike listening to max make shooter noises with a stick and saying "I'm going to shoot that bear!" Where did the kid get that?

Saturday, May 9, 2009

all-mama, all the time?

I regularly read this blog... one of the posts this week was "are you all-mama, all the time?" and that hit me really hard.

I have been dealing with the insecurities that all moms deal with, am I good Mom? am I doing the best job I can do? and do other people cringe when me and the boys come around? am I good friend?

Recently I went to visit my Best friend of the last 13-14 years. We met in college the first week and had been inseparable since. We have lived together on and off, were maid of honors at each others wedding (well, her first wedding) and talked regularly on the phone... for hours...
I went down a year ago by myself to help get here ready for a new baby. We had a great time, bumming around town, filling her freezer with prepared meals, and leisurely drinking coffee and chatting away the morning. This time I had the boys with me.... I didn't have the time to leisurely drink coffee, we didn't get into deep conversations because I had to entertain the boys... they are 2 and 4 and are active, crazy little boys. I didn't have the time or energy to devote all my energy to her.

It turns out that when it is just me and her, we are cool. But you add the dynamic of my kids into the picture, and our views on child raising are hugely different. Our husbands are Hugely different, and our lives that used to be similar are Hugely different. Neither one better than the other... just different. When I have on my Mama hat, seems me and my best friend aren't such good friends.

Our visit was fine, great really.. just not the same. It makes me wonder if we will ever have that closeness that once was.

What did happen after our visit was a tense conversation about families and parenting, what happened is both our feelings got hurt, and all of our insecurities as moms got in the way.

Recently I have been doing allot of soul searching and questioning of my beliefs in raising my kids. I model my parenting after my parents, they made mistakes like everyone does. But all of my siblings are successful, great people. None of us ended up going down the wrong path... My mom, even with mistakes made, always supported us, was always there for us, and always encouraged the good. We were raised as creative, culinary, strong spirited, happy individuals. We lived on a farm, always had a garden, always did art projects, went to church on sunday, and always had family dinners at the table. Yes, my dad dealt with depression is whole life, Yes, my mom is a little nutty, and Yes, we were never rich. But my parents did a great job with what they had... and if my boys turn out as good as we did, I have nothing to worry about.

Last night I went to dinner with two mama friends, that were friends before I had kids too. We sat on a large red velvet couch and chatted around a huge coffee table set off to the side in the restaurant. I looked around and saw our combined 5 kids all running around being kind of crazy and both my friends warmly chatting it up, both relaxed and calm. We headed to the park after dinner, and had a great time running the kids wiggles out. Max would throw sand or hit someone, he would get in trouble, than a little bit later jerry (jenns little boy almost 3) would throw a truck and swat someone with a stick, he would get in trouble and go on playing. It made me feel at ease.... Brian came by after work and I watched my husband chasing our two little men around the park. It made me feel like I am fine, my boys are not perfect, but no ones kids are.

I still miss my friend terribly, she knows everything about me, I hope someday we can re-connect, and be as close as we once were.

Monday, May 4, 2009

looks like a belly button...

I have this friend Montana who hates belly buttons. I always thought it was funny. She seriously is disturbed by the proud mama pictures so many of us take of our lovely round bare bellies. When I was pregnant with Ollie, I was taking this really great pre-natal yoga class. The picture on the instructors card was a line up of pregnant ladies showing off there round, protruding, bellies all bared and glowing in the warm sun. This card disturbed Montana to no end, so I being the great friend that I am found many ways to share the lovely cards with her. Hidden in her desk drawer, strategically taped to her computer monitor, and even left as a love note on her car at the end of the day. I think I may have to send this pic her way... doesn't it look like Ollie is looking into a giant belly button.