Friday, August 17, 2012

Normal at 7.. Overly worried at 34..

We have been dealing with parenting "issues". This morning after an argument about Mario first thing in the morning, I googled "How to deal with a highly sensitive volatile 7 year old".... this is what I found out....

Basic description of a 7-year old: Age of Withdrawal

Typically, a 7-year old:
  • is calmer than at age 6
  • is moody, morose, melancholy
  • broods and sulks
  • is thoughtful and a good listener
  • loves to think, observe, and reflect
  • is absent-minded
  • procrastinates
  • is easily distracted
  • is self-absorbed
  • loves to argue but goes along with solutions
  • often asks, "Why do I have to?" and "Why should I?"
  • is less selfish and more forgiving
  • is hard to satisfy
  • is easily disappointed
  • does not respond well to humor
  • thinks others are mean, hateful, unfriendly, always picking on him, not liking him
  • may tell stories of maltreatment
  • may join several peers to gang up on one child or may become target of other children ganging up on him
  • does not want others to laugh at him
  • worries about everything, including:
    • not doing well in school
    • hurricanes (or any natural disaster)
    • war
    • that family won't have enough money
    • people he loves will die
    • that any pain or discomfort is a sign of a fatal illness
  • has many fears, including:
    • being late for school
    • the dark
  • has overcome some previous fears such as of the dentist or swimming
  • wants control and privacy
    • likes a room of his own to which he can retreat
    • does not like to be touched or seen without clothes
    • likes to plan his own days
    • has increasing control over body, thoughts and temper
    • may talk to himself in front of mirror
  • Parents:
    • gets along rather well with mother
    • wants her support and sympathy
    • believes parents like the other children in the family more than him
    • admires father, especially boys may "worship" them
  • Siblings:
    • fights with siblings
    • is best with much older and much younger siblings
    • with siblings close in age, things are "just not fair enough"
    • enjoys family outings
    • less tattling
  • Sex:
    • may not notice sex differences
    • are "mushy"
    • some, especially boys, are more hostile towards the opposite sex
  • School/learning:
    • enjoys learning
    • can idolize a teacher
    • may have a crush on a teacher
    • frequently asks for permission to do tasks
    • wants to be special
    • at home, can complain a lot about school
    • not a good messenger for bringing papers home from school
    • may give a "gift" to the teacher that actually is something that belongs to mother
    • enjoys reading as skills improve
    • understands time better (which may be why there is an increase in worrying about being late)
    • sets high standards for self, wants perfect scores and papers, erases a lot
    • perseveres once starts an activity
  • Physical development:
    • has more headaches, rubs eyes
    • complains of pain, especially knee pains
    • is more coordinated
    • is more cautious
  • Play:
    • not as adventuresome
    • can stick with one activity for a long time
    • can play competitive games better because winning is not so important
    • likes computer play
    • likes to collect things
    • loves nature
    • loves to participate in sports
  • Frequent use of:
    • "I can't"
    • "This is serious"
    • "I feel embarrassed"
    • a lot of self-criticism
  • Ethics:
    • tries to live up to standards for being "good"
    • tries to tell the truth, but is quick with excuses
    • believes fairness is very important
    • may collect things that really don't belong to him
Suggestions for parenting your 7-year old:
  • Use a gentle approach
  • Show appreciation
  • Provide reasonable amounts of sympathy
  • Do not to take reports of unfairness too seriously
  • Stay calm

So Guess what, I have a normal, moody, sulky, not fair, you are ruining my life 7 year old.


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Feeling it... Procrastination



This upcoming Saturday is CraftyWonderland...
This is I think the 5th or 6th one I have done, and you would think my work system would be better by now.. But No, I know about the shows months in advance, but don't seem to kick it into high gear until the week of the show... and now I am annoyed.

On Sunday I was supposed to work all day, instead I hiked in forest park with my kids. I mean the weather was gorgeous, you really think I should sit inside all day at the sewing machine... pshaw!
(the photo above was one of the shots from our hike, we live in such a beautiful place!)

Now I am stressed, and kicking myself for going to the movies Saturday night, and hiking Sunday.... and you know blogging about it now. When I should be sewing, cutting, screenprinting... something.

I also decided now was a great time to take business classes, oh yea, right before the busy spring season, I am Awesome.

Business classes are making my head spin... But I am learning a ton, and just got offered a 3 year Mentorship. Which essentially means, they like me, think my business is pretty neat, and want to help me grow... so that is Awesome! I guess that means I should go and do something... business-y.

Happy Tuesday Online world!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Throw back to Snow....


We had a little bit of snow this Winter (in March).

Oliver has been studying penguins and Antarctica at school. With our 2 hour school delay, Oliver decided to make his own Antarctica, how can you deny a kid that wants to do educational activities. So we broke out the trusty shrink a dink paper, and the boys went to work drawing all the animals they know live in Antarctica.


Than we made our very own Antarctica diorama's.







the bug chicks







At Pre-School, on a day Oliver had no school, the bug chicks came to visit, so not only did Max get to see the bugs, Oliver did to, what a fun day.

Mom.

Recently I started small business classes, talk about overloading my already full brain! All the parts I hate about business in a class.... Awesome.

Recently both boys started little league on separate teams, ugh... we are busy in this house, almost 4 nights a week we have practice or games, and 2 games on Saturday. What was I thinking?


Recently Oliver has been having problems with frustration, okay maybe not so recently but.... it is just now, as our life has been getting busier, really starting to show. I am reading a lot of information about teaching our kids appropriate ways to deal with frustration and anger. It is not my favorite part of parenting. What I realized, is I try the hardest I can, to keep everyone not frustrated, and have done this since the boys were little. Soooo now, since I can't follow Oliver around the entire day and keep everyone from frustrating him, I have kind of robbed him of a necessary survival skill. Learning this life skill has been a little painful for us, but we are doing the work, no matter how painful it is. Here is a good article on the subject!

No matter how chaotic, stressful, or overloaded I am. I am still one thing, and the best at it for my boys.

MOM

Yesterday my heart overfilled with love, as I got home from class, at the exact same time Brian was walking Oliver and Max home from picking Ollie up. Oliver saw me get out of the car and from about a block away yelled "MOM" and started running down the block with his arms open. Almost nothing in this world makes you feel more loved, more accepted, more full, than the unconditional love your child freely gives you.

This morning was late start at school, normally Max is in school and Oliver and I get a little one on one time. Our favorite thing to do is drop Max off at pre-school and than go to breakfast at the little cafe down the block. Today Max was sick, so no breakfast out for us. Oliver had a hard time getting ready this morning (getting us all frustrated). He wanted to ride bikes to school, but Max has this crazy cough, that seriously the only time he is not coughing is when he is sitting up right on the couch. Laying down coughing crazy... walking around the house, coughing like crazy, exerting any energy the kid is coughing the whole time. Needless to say no bike riding to school (frustrating for our first grader for sure). In the car Oliver on accident (purpose) threw a pencil at my head. Awesome. He got in trouble, not a good way to start your day. As I dropped him off at school, he was mad at me, he didn't want to look at me, he didn't want to throw his morning problems back in the car... he just wanted to get away from me. As a mom, as Oliver's mom, I knew this was not a good way for him to start his school day.

I watched him run across the street, and slowly walk to the school door. Once he got to the door, he turned around and waved to me, I waved back. He than blew me a kiss, I caught it. Put it in my heart. I blew him a kiss, he caught it and put it in his pocket. Our secret Love language. Again, Almost nothing in this world makes you feel more loved, more accepted, more full, than the unconditional love your child freely gives.



Thursday, February 9, 2012

Coming to terms with it...

So, sorry blog land. I kind of hate winter, and this year has been extremely difficult. Hibernating has been my activity of choice. Well, I guess not hibernating, maybe hiding is a better description.

I have recently been diagnosed with Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding, Awesome Right!

I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will most likely not have any more babies. So I think it is okay for me to hibernate for a bit. or hide, either one is good for now...