My Spoons...

How do you know when you are old and a mom who spends to much time in the kitchen? Well, when you cherish things like this set of spoons my mom gave me. There are actually 5 in the set, but I think the boys were using two of them in the sink when I took the photo. I LOVE THESE.

I wanted a flat round spoon like the one my mom has, and has had my whole life. She couldn't find one on it's own, but gave me this set for Christmas. It is seriously my most treasured possession at this time. Aren't they pretty?

My DIY kitchen and messy kids...

So my kitchen is pretty small, a house built in the 1920's is much different from a house built more recently. I do like my kitchen, even though the cabinets are really low, i have minimal counter space, and no dishwasher.

To fix the problem of minimal counter space, I moved a shelf into the space that previously housed a cart with a microwave on it. I than moved the cart out in front of the shelf it has a cutting board top and wheels so I can manuever it around the kitchen. I love this arrangement much better. The microwave is hidin, and the bowls, and blender are now stored on the bottom shelves which are so much easier to get too.

On Valentines day me and the kids made a yummy chocolate cake, it is called a "kenya cake" the woman who made the recipe got it while she was in the peace corp in kenya. Originally I guess it was cooked in a pot over open fire... It is the best freakin chocolate cake, and so easy. I will post the recipe when I get a chance. Anyway the boys helped and oh what a mess we made. The boys than were stripped down to the diapers and as I cleaned up my dining room, they cleaned up themselves, the dishes and eachother.

yuck, morning.. .. .

there are some mornings when I would just rather climb back in bed.

This morning was one of those lovelies. Max got me out of bed at 6:45am.... than ollie was up around 7:15.. so the day started. The boys were actually mellow this morning and chillin in the chair together while I was making breakfast. This very rarely happens. We have days when max can't even look at ollie, without ollie bursting into a fit. I did'nt think that would start for a couple of years, but I was wrong.. . I find myself saying often, "Ollie, Max can look at you, he is'nt hurting you by looking at you."

After breakfast I was getting myself and Ollie dressed, went to grab Max and walked into this lovely mess.

We than ran to the post office to mail off some packages, the boys hate the post office. I do to! Everyone in there is old, and my kids never want to behave. I end up having to make a crying Ollie sit at my feet in time out. He just wants to touch everything, with old crotchety people giving us the evil eye. It is probably just the milwaukie post office... it is super tiny... maybe I should drive 3 minutes over to sellwood, maybe I would'nt feel like such an eye sore with my two little men squirming around me, while trying to address a bunch of packages.

After the post office incident I did'nt want to go home. I drove around my block a couple of times contemplating my options. I was tired, had really messy hair, no make-up on, and no money to really waste. So we went home. I made coffee, and am feeling much better... ... well alittle better, at least one of the babes are down for a nap.

Obstacle course 101....

I don't know if I am helping release the energy, or instigating something I may regret.. .. .

my crazy monkeys...

last night at around 5:30pm....the countdown to when daddy gets home. I was sitting in a chair, trying to read a lame parenting magazine (i don't know why I subscribe to those things) and I had two little monkeys climbing up the chair on either side of me. Climbing behind me, around my head, biting my arms, messing with my hair, basically they were thouroughly annoyed that I was reading a magazine.

I hear myself saying constantly "I am not a jungle gym." I remember these words spoken by my own mother quite a few times.

last night I snapped, shook both kids off (not literally), with an uncontrolled yelp, and sent them to sit with their hands in their lap on the couch.

I looked at their sad little faces...:(

and ollie said to me... "alittle scary momma"

um.... can you say guilt consumed me.

I took a breather, and than we solved our problem, we built a jungle gym in the living room.
My boys have so much energy, we are constanly playing, chasing, running around outside in our boots and jackets. Taking nature walks.... but it is not enough, daily around the same time of day, I am at my limit... and it is usually right before B gets home. Maybe it is just the knowledge that soon I will have another set of hands...and a minute to pee by myself, with the door closed....

4 years missed.. .

February 6th was the fourth year anniversary of my dad's death... what a bummer eh?

In the last couple years so much has happened. I moved back to Oregon, got pregnant..oops... had a premature baby, got pregnant again...oops... got married..

It seems like every year since my dads death something major has happened right around the anniversary... not that I like to celebrate these types of things... sometimes I feel like I don't miss him enough...

It hit me full force yesterday. I was in a bummer mood, and as I started in on the days dishes, I just started sobbing. It felt like I was feeling it all over again.

The night before my dad died I got the call that he was in the hospital and I needed to come home. I was on my way to pay my rent, and the only thing I could think was shit... i don't have any money... I used my rent to buy my ticket home, thank god I had awesome roommates. The only flight I could get was leaving the next morning at 6am... I remember packing the night before I left, I was kind of pissed, my dad had been in and out of the hospital so many times. I did'nt believe this was it. I had stood by my dad through his diagnosis of cancer, chemo, and radiation. I had driven him to his appointments, I had filled out the gazillion medical forms at all the different docs he went to. I remember at one of the appointments with the lung specialist, on the form it asked do you smoke, if you quit how long ago, etc.. etc... My dad looked at me and said oh I quit, have'nt smoked in a year. I could see the cigerettes in his pocket... I guess he felt like he was kidding everyone... his mustache was nicotine stained, and so were his hands. He smelled like a mix of febreeze, scented candles, smoke, and cheap aftershave... he was my dad... and I loved him.

I remember packing my bag, I slipped in a black dress just in case, and I remember thinking what the hell.

My roommate Laura had offered to drive me to the airport, I was leaving out of san jose. We missed the exit... I missed my flight.

I called john to tell him I had missed my flight, and I was on the next, but would'nt be down till around 9am... he was silent. He then told me, they were keeping him alive till I got there.

I was the only one not there. Everyone had spent the night at the hospital as my dad was removed further and further. I don't think anyone got to talk to him before he was'nt really there.

by the time I got there, he was way gone, he was hooked up to a ton of machines, his eyes were taped shut.

I remember talking to him, I told him to pick me out some good babies up there... Ollie was born almost exactly a year later. He has my dad's eyes.

I am sad my dad never met B

I am sad my kids will never know there grandpa

I am sad my dad was not there to walk me down the aisle

I am sad I was'nt there

I don't know what the point of me writing this is... but I feel a little better.

bugs and fishes...

Annie and Jeff got Ollie a bug catcher thing that looks like a mini dustbuster... it is pretty cool, saturday morning we caught a spider...















B and I decided a mini aquarium would be fun for his b-day gift... I was kind of hesitant about the whole ordeal, becuase, come on, we all know who is going to be responsible for those little suckers... we got to the pet store, and B the king of bigger and better (have you seen our massive tv) tried to convince me a 2.5 gallon tank was just not big enough... he wanted to dive right into the 10 gallon one, and if I would have been in agreement he probably would have wanted to go to the 20 gallon, we bought the 2.5 gallon... hopefully our fish will survive, we got three, they are pretty cute, ask ollie what their names our... he will tell you .... fishy......

Ollie bean dips b-day

so our little man turned 3...

hard to believe he started out at 3lbs... just got weighed today and at 3yrs he is a whopping 27.2 lbs... he is going to be a little guy, but that is okay.

B got home from Chicago on Thursday night 2.5 hours late... so instead of a nice mellow homecooked meal when he got home, we had a late, kids kinda cranky should be in bed dinner. It was nice to have him home.

On friday (ollies actual b-day) we met grandma linda, papa mike, and aunt jo for breakfast at kennedy school. Jo was headed to the mountain for the weekend and g-linda and mike had a dinner so they were'nt able to make it for dinner, breakfast worked for us.

I love the kennedy school, the booths are nice and big, the food is decent and not overpriced... I would proudly recommend this place to anyone coming to portland.

After hangin out, we ran some errands and headed home for a relaxing afternoon of kid naps and just being home.

I made homemade pizza and an awesome cake... from scratch... I was very impressed with myself...

Gavin, Chloe, Jeff and Annie came over for dinner and cake... It was mellow, and fun... and Ollie had a good time he loves playing with his cousins..

Ollie got a bunch of cool books, a sweet new rain jacket, the game Zathura (which he had to sleep with in his bed that night) and cold hard cash...