Friday, August 28, 2009

potty talk

My life has had way to much bodily fluids in it lately... here are some little stories all on the topic of potty.

First, Max is potty training. I don't remember it being this difficult with Ollie. Maybe these are things you just block out. Max seems to be taking full advantage of potty training. I swear he squeezes out the smallest amount of potty he can, just to get the sticker, or marshmallow, or jelly bean I have chosen to use as a reward that day. We stopped the reward system for potty, know he only gets a reward for poo. I spend most of the day reminding him to use the potty and begging him to try and poop on the potty. Only one successful poo so far, with a couple of messy undie incidents... gross! Needless to say we are taking a break from potty training this week. We will try again in a couple of weeks.

Second Potty tale.
A couple weeks ago B and I decided to load the boys up and take a stroll through Ikea. We needed a new duvet cover and felt like a late night (8 p.m. ohhhh were such night owls) walk around would do the boys good. We were enjoying pretending all the little living rooms were ours and the boys were running around with paper tape measures... Ikea is always a good time, unless it is a Saturday or Sunday during the day, B and I have an theory that weekends at Ikea could be the cause of many divorces! especially if you are totting around toddlers...

Anyway as we were making our way through the 595 sq ft of fake house, Ollie mentioned he needed to use the potty, I told him we would find a bathroom after we got through this little house. B and I were very busy admiring the storage space above the cool modern looking bed and discussing how we could use that in our room, B turned around and exclaimed, "Ollie, what are you doing."

Smart little Oliver had found a bathroom himself. There he stood with his pants around his ankles and a puddle on the top of a fake toilet.....Max standing right next to him as an innocent bystander.

In the cute little 595 sq ft of a fake house.

Ikea is smart, they screw the lids down so you can't open the toilets, but when you are a kid and you need to go, and get all ready, something like a lid being screwed down can't stop the stream.

How Embarrassing!

I left B and the boys guarding the puddle, what a bad mom I was, no wipes, no napkins, and no diapers in my bag....

I went and snooped through the employee station, they have nothing in there! so I had to run around and flag down an employee... who laughed... I thought she would say something like "oh that happens all the time." but guess what it doesn't. Has never happened while she had been there at least.... so at least I gave the ikea employee a story to pass around the break room.

and the third most disturbing potty tale...

We got tickets to see the Flaming Lips out at Edgefield....AMAZING... is all I can say about that. Becki and Nick were in town from Austin, Jo met up with us and my friend from Cali Laura. It was so fun to feel semi-younger again. Being a grown up is hard and exhausting!

Anyway we had a couple of beers and when the lips took the stage we made our way down to the front. A couple of songs in, crammed up against other people trying to get the best view and wanting to be part of the show.... I feel a warm splatter, stream HITTING MY FOOT (I was wearing flip flops)! It took me a minute to figure out what the heck was going on, I thought maybe someone had spilled a drink, but it was warm, body temp warm. Than I notice the dude in front of me, slightly to my right, zipping his fly up. THE DUDE PEED. In the middle of a concert crammed in between people. It is not like the bathrooms are that far away.... just right up the hill, COME ON.

I had had a couple of beers, and was furious, but what do you do, the dude peed on my foot. Okay and I am not a quiet person. So I knock on his shoulder, I don't know what I wanted, maybe an "OH, I am sorry, I didn't think anyone would notice." Maybe a lie... Like "Oh I just spilled my drink".... Something anything would be better than the guiltily defensive 6 foot dude saying "uhhh No." and than turning around trying to ignore me saying loudly to everyone and anyone... (i did have two beers in me)..."that guy just peed on my foot!" Needless to say he moved away from us... SO DISGUSTING.... His Girlfriend or wife or whatever was right in front of him. She moved away first, giving him one of the looks I give Brian when he does something ridiculous.... but never, never would Brian Pee in the middle of a sea of people, during a concert!


Tiffany said...

OMG...the dude peed! That's just CRAZY!! Hopefully potty training Max goes a little smoother, but it's tough. I dislike that stage most! The stinky drawer cleanup is the worst!! Ollie's story is freakin' hilarious...that will be one you tell when he's a teen, just to embarrass him :) lol