Monday, September 10, 2007

I am not the best....

I am not the best Mom... I am not the best house cleaner... I am not the best wife... I am not the best sister.... and I am not the best friend...



Wow... that felt great, just getting it out there. Sometimes I feel like I am constantly failing, and than I realize, I don't have to be the best at everything.... well the best compared to everyone else, I only have to do the best that I can do, and sometimes I can fall short of that, and that is okay..



Today I had a surprise visit, nothing like a surprise visitor to make you take a second look at how clean you are keeping your home, when you aren't expecting people. Not that it was that big of a deal, it was just my sister... But my house was beyond messy... I seem to have this thing where I like to start projects even if i haven't cleaned up the mess from my last "project." Today I started screen printing, even though last nights dishes sat in the sink, two different kinds of cereal had been dropped by miniature hands on the living room floor, waiting to be vacuumed, which also had an array of shades of thread from my embroidery projects, also waiting for the vacuum. So instead of cleaning the house I decide to start a new project and add to the mess.... in the midst of the mess my older sister walks in... how embarrassing! I never remember walking into her home and thinking wow, someone needs to clean... but here I sat squirming, looking around and thinking wow, my floors really need to be mopped, I should really bring the rug in off the front porch, good God why can't I ever get the laundry put away... so after our visit, which was great, don't get me wrong I love visitors... I went into a cleaning frenzy, and got the house straightened up, but I still didn't get the laundry put away....



Also due to my above stated "projects" lately, I have not been the most attentive Mommy, which could be why my house is suffering, and I feel like I am failing. Today was especially hard. Ollie being the 2 yr old that he is, if he is not getting my almost full attention melts into a tantrum over everything... me being distracted today caused this..... so to get my stuff done I put him and max down for an early nap. Thank God they both agreed to cooperate.... but I bribed Ollie with the hope of making Chocolate chip cookies when he got up... I don't give my kids a ton of sweets, I don't keep that kind of stuff in the house, so this is a big deal for us... so during nap I got some of my stuff done, than realizing the state of my home, spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning. Ollie woke up and helped me clean a little... helped me fix the vacuum since I managed to clog it up with cheerios and a plastic ollie spoon, don't ask me how I managed to vacuum up a spoon. And than we started to make cookies, usually cooking together is a great experience for both of us, today not so much. I got mad, he was flinging butter and sugar all over the place, trying to eat the raw egg, and kept crying for the chocolate chips.... it was not very fun, he ended up in time out, crying big crocodile tears... as stated above, sometimes I am not the best mom...

at 5 p.m.... I poured two cups a milk... a sippy cup with water, put a couple of fresh, out of the oven, ooey gooey, chocolate chip cookies on a plate, and sat down at the table with my two boys, and we ate cookies.... at 5 p.m.... I thought this would make us all feel better, it didn't.... B was home late, we were all cranky, and eating chocolate chip cookies did not help....



B came home, I passed off two, crying, cranky, driving me crazy kids, and went and took a shower.... I realized in the shower I do not have to be the best at everything, and tomorrow will be better.

1 comments:

My name is Kari said...

My screaming girl who keeps trying to bite my hand when she doesn't get what she wants would say that I'm not the best mommy either! The good thing about this job is that kids are super-forgiving, and we always have a chance to try again tomorrow. :)

Looking forward to hanging out w/ you guys....we don't care what your floors look like at all.